you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
