Well apparently he's into motor boating.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
