you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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