So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
