Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
