I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
