Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
