the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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