Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
