She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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