I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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