I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
