I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
