it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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