dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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