Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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