Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
