ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Life is so much better after having sex.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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