dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
