At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
