I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
