Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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