Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
