If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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