On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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