all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize