White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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