i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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