Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How does it feel to date your dad?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
