You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Randomize
