I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
