KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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