A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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