I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize