on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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