Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
