i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
