moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
