you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
How external is "for external use only"?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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