while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
