Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
