problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize