So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
