Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
