I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
