Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
