Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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