Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
