In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
