You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize