Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
