You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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