I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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