so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
