hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
