It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
