Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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