Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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