I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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