im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
