i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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