All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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