i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am mentally ready for anal.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
